Harry's Red-painted Town
by petethehotdog
Summary: A fuss is made over Harry's decision to paint a town red during the summer holidays. Submission for the English Idioms Challenge from HPFC. Extreme level: "Paint the town red" I'm using Euros instead of Pounds because that is what I thought of.


"So Harry, do you have any plans for the summer?" Hermione asked, in the middle of the ride home from Hogwarts on the Express after 3rd year.

"Why, yes, Hermione, I do have plans for the summer." Harry didn't say anything else; he just sat there, arms folded across his chest, with a sort-of smug look on his face.

When it became clear that Harry was done saying things, even incredibly vague things like that, Hermione questioned him again. "Uh, Harry? Would you like to share your summer plans with us?" in reference to the three of them in the trio, alone, sitting in the moderate sized compartment.

"Oh, you want to know my plans," he began in an exaggerated understanding voice. "Well, first, I'm going to buy myself a town, and then I am going to paint the town red." Simple enough. Not much to it, really. His entire plans for the two months in between his third and fourth years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry consisted of him buying a town, not too big of a town mind you, and painting it red.

An appalled and shocked Hermione stated, "But Harry! You can't just do things like that!"

"Why not?" came his response.

"Because… Because you just can't, Harry! Doing such things is not a good thing to get into the habit of doing!"

"Again, why not? I'm only painting a town red, Hermione, it's no big deal."

"No big deal? Of COURSE it's a big deal. People will start to think that you are becoming EVIL, Harry. EVIL! E-V-I-L! Like Grindelwald and V-v-voldemort. You are the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, the Savior of the Wizarding World! You cannot simply become evil at the drop of the hat! Think about what everybody will think!"

"Geez, Hermione! I promise you, it isn't that big of a deal. And I'm NOT turning evil, either. Now just drop the matter—"

"DROP THE MATTER?! HARRY JAMES POTTER! WE CANNOT JUST STOP DISCUSSING ABOUT THE MATTER OF YOU BECOMING EVIL . . ."

-ololo-

**LATER**

"Is this _all_ that you want to buy, Mister Potter? Surely, you want something more…"

"No, thank you. This is exactly what I need. And don't call me Shirley. It's Harry."

"Okay, whatever you say Mister Potter. That will be €438.32 ($499) plus tax which brings your total up to €515.03 ($586.33)."

"515 EUROS! Surely, those things don't cost THAT much!"

"Oh, but they do, Mister Potter. And don't call me Shirley, either. Pay up or leave without them."

Reluctantly, with on overly dramatic sigh, Harry handed the cashier the amount needed and left.

-ololo-

**EVEN LATER THAN BEFORE**

"One more stroke . . . Ah, the W is done. Finally. One more. Just finish the N and you're done."

-ololo-

**MINUTES AFTER THE PREVIOUS SCENE**

"YES! It's about time! I should go get Hermione to show her that I'm not going dark."

Minutes passed before Harry retrieved the phone book and a phone to bring back to his small room, and another ten after that before he found his best friend's name. Phone books really are that big and confusing. Soon, almost 14 minutes after he started, the sounds of waiting for a phone call to be answered filled young Master Harry's ear.

It was three rings before a baritone voice announced, "Hello? Granger residence. Who is this?"

"Hello. My name is Harry Potter, and I would like to speak with Hermione about a conversation that we had earlier."

"Okay, hold on for a minute and I'll get her."

Exactly one minute elapsed before a new, young female voice sounded out of the receiver. "Hello, this is—"

"Hermione! I finished it. My town is now painted red. It reeks horribly, but it's red now. Come over to see it."

"GROSS! No, Harry. I do not want to 'see it.' The mere thought of it revolts me."

"But, Hermione! It is completely safe and harmless. Plus, I spent over an hour doing it. And after it all, I'm still here – one completely Light, anti-evil Harry Potter. Once you get past the awful stench, it's beautiful."

"Harry! Dead bodies and blood-filled streets are NOT '_beautiful_.' They are ATROCIOUS! I CANNOT believe that you spent a whole hour doing nothing but killing people and splashing blood everywhere throughout a town that you somehow acquired. I am so disappointed in y—"

" HERMIONE! STOP! I DID NOT KILL ANYBODY! I bought four block letters, a can of red paint, and a new paintbrush for an awful price of 515 Euros! Can you believe it? 515 euros for a paintbrush, four block letters, and a bucket of red paint!"

"The audacity of that guy! I'm so sorry, Harry. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. I'm—"

"Hermione, stop. I forgive you. Apology accepted. Now, would you like to come over and see the town that I painstakingly and thoroughly painted for an hour? You can't even see the individual strokes!"

"Sure, Harry. I'll look at your red-painted town. See you later?"

"See you later. Bye, Hermione!"

"Bye."


End file.
